“That was the thing about best friends. Like sisters and mothers, they could piss you off and make you cry and break your heart, but in the end, when the chips were down, they were there, making you laugh even in your darkest hours.”—“Firefly Lane” by Kristin Hannah (via hannahmorganhamilton)
Well, here I am. Silent for the next few months, no singing for probably six, but all signs point to this being the last step in getting to perform again. Back to notebooks and iPad to communicate for the time being. Zen living at its finest… so if you see me out and about and I don’t…
“I love unmade beds. I love when people are drunk and crying and cannot be anything but honest in that moment. I love the look in people’s eyes when they realize they’re in love. I love the way people look when they first wake up and they’ve forgotten their surroundings. I love the gasp people take when their favorite character dies. I love when people close their eyes and drift to somewhere in the clouds. I fall in love with people and their honest moments all the time. I fall in love with their breakdowns and their smeared makeup and their daydreams. Honesty is just too beautiful to ever put into words.”—
I never want to have more money than I absolutely need. Money is such a gross thing and produces such selfish desires that I want nothing to do with.
I want to have a job that isn’t work, but something I love. Everyone tells me if I seriously want to be a journalist that:
A.) I won’t be able to find a job or B.) If I do find a job I won’t make very much money.
And honestly, that only makes me want to pursue my dreams of a life in journalism even more. Wealthy people are some of the most unhappy people there are. They constantly think they “need” the latest or greatest things and for what?! Seriously, why is that so important to you and since when did being wealthy become part of the “American Dream” that is so sought after?
What happened to the “American Dream” representing actual dreams and the ability to pursue them and being able to come to America to find a better, happier life? Yes, I understand some of that includes a better life outside of poverty but money was just a part of what helped make people happy then and now it’s all that makes people happy. Success and wealth are what gives people a sense of worth and I want nothing to do with that mindset.
I mean come on!! Today people laugh when you find something small and cheap so exciting, why?! Today I went to Starbucks and bought a $10 thermos and came home and wouldn’t stop talking about how cool I thought it was and my mom made a comment that she never knew a thermos could be so fascinating. I’m not trying to say I’m always completely unmaterialistic or frugal and that other’s are greedy, but it just simply got me thinking about this topic. And about what is and isn’t necessary, material wise, to make someone happy.
So I decided I just want to have enough money to pay the bills, buy my friends and family birthday presents, stop for a coffee or pick up a book when I randomly please, and very occasionally afford something considered an impulse buy. Other than that, I want to continue to have to learn how to save for bigger things and prioritize. I want to delve my entire self into my career I love and all my relationships that are important to me, rather than what things I have that impress myself or others.
I hope and pray I can become less and less greedy and eventually get to this point, because I truly believe these things, not success or wealth, will bring me that coveted happiness that will flow abundantly in and out of all aspects of my life.
I want this happiness, not money, to grow on trees in my life one day and I’m so excited to eventually get there!
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
Shame is definitely on me.
I should have known seeing how you are so gifted at deceiving me.
I just refuse to believe that people can be just bad people.
Everyone told me that you were just that but I can’t accept that as the truth.
I should but I can’t…because I was fortunate to get a glimpse into a different side of you and that said is genuine, although it surfaces very seldom.
I don’t think I’ll get over you for a long time again, however I am very proud of myself for speaking my mind. It isn’t fair the way and the speed at which your emotions change. Not to me or any other girl you have or will show an interest in.
It’s not fair that you contact me yet I still end up feeling stupid about the whole situation.
It’s not fair how sad, pathetic, and inadequate you make feel.
I hate feeling this way-sad and alone. I hate crying and thinking I am truly not good enough for anyone, or anything.
I wish you would for once, be honest and forthcoming about how you feel. Not because I’d like to talk to you but because you need to finally face yourself and your feelings!
“The (500) Days of Summer attitude of “He wants you so bad” seems attractive to some women and men, especially younger ones, but I would encourage anyone who has a crush on my character to watch it again and examine how selfish he is. He develops a mildly delusional obsession over a girl onto whom he projects all these fantasies. He thinks she’ll give his life meaning because he doesn’t care about much else going on in his life. A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them. That’s not healthy. That’s falling in love with the idea of a person, not the actual person.”—
Yes this is another post about how amazing my friends are, but honestly I don’t think I could have possibly found a better group to go through high school with. It’s crazy to think that in 2 days we will be starting our senior year together. and in about 9 short months we will be graduating. I…